“DD” PURSUE WISDOM

(The Tao Te Ching) When the wise man hears of the Way, he tries hard to follow it. When the average person hears of the Way, he tries to keep it, but eventually loses it. When those who are ignorant hear of the Way, they just laugh. If people didn’t laugh at it, it wouldn’t be the Way. 

I wasn’t the best student growing up, I had natural ability and plenty of brain power, but studying and being ready for tests was not my strong suit. I would make fun of other kids out of ignorance for their study habits, or for them performing consistently well on tests. I would point at the prepared kids and make jokes out of a sense of insecurity. I would look at how other people performed in class and would judge them instead of choosing to emulate them. I built all kinds of stories up in my mind about why we were different and why I didn’t need to operate in school the way they did.

Everything I told myself in my mind about them versus me was based out of fear, out of the fear that no matter what I did I wouldn’t have the same ability in class as they did. And so, I carried that idea on and into college, whereby this point my previous ideations about my ability and school had solidified into habits and habitual responses.

I was neither wise nor pursuing wisdom earlier in life. Energy is not always wasted on youth, but definitely on the adult who never takes full advantage of a renewed purpose.

Regardless, I persisted into adulthood nonetheless, and the byproduct of such with regards to formal education inhibited my choices with grad school and possible careers. I told myself stories like, “I don’t have the ability to finish this or that program,” or “I don’t have the study habits to prepare for the entrance exam.” I was filled with stories about why I couldn’t excel, as opposed to stories based on facts where I did give something my best and failed not due to lack of ability, but due to lack of interest in going further.

The Way, not unlike me as a student, was a pursuit left for adulthood, but once early adulthood came, I was too busy being drunk to pursue it with earnest, even with an average intent and practice. Eventually, I grew tired of living on the sidelines of a spiritual life, and my inner-higher-self was ready to put forth the effort it took to find wisdom as the approach to the Way. Wisdom, in the sense of ceasing without yielding to earthly desires or excuses any longer.

Upon reaching a flow state with regards to a constant connection with the Divine, the Way, God’s higher will for my life, however one decides to say this, I noticed laughter was a byproduct many times. Laughter at myself for being so foolish earlier in life. Also, I noticed the world was laughing at me as well, but not because they thought I looked funny, or because they were pointing fingers in my direction with regards to folly, but because what and who the world knew me as no longer carried weight or definition to them, which caused unease.

If the world doesn’t laugh or scoff at your endeavors in chasing after God, you’re not headed towards the Way.